- Debra Hays
Three Life-Changing Lessons Children with Cancer Can Teach You
We often think of children as students, not teachers. They spend their days exploring the world around them, asking questions and learning new things. For them, life is big, exciting and full of wonder. Thereâs so much they donât understand, and, as adults, itâs our job to teach them.
Anyone who spends a lot of time around kids knows that they have powerful lessons to share, too. The difference is that children teach through their actions, not their words. They love life and finding the meaning in it, even when things donât make any sense at allâlike when a child gets diagnosed with cancer.
My boyfriendâs son Grady was diagnosed with Leukemia at age three. Fast forward a decade later, heâs now a healthy teenager leading a wonderful life. He plays football, basketball and baseball, loves going to school, hanging out with his friendsâif you look at him now you would never know heâs a survivor.
Of course, Grady and the other 420,000 American children who have survived cancer are so lucky. These kids endure extraordinary circumstances, experiencing the worst of what adults fear. How can innocent kids process this life-threatening disease and have the courage to move forward after it?
They learn early on that life is unfair but understand better than anyone how precious it is. Thatâs why Grady amazes me every day. Here are three life-changing lessons these brave kids can teach us.
1. Donât let fear define you.
Spiders, clowns, heightsâeveryone is afraid of something, and thatâs okay! Itâs only when your fears become debilitating that they start to control you. For cancer survivors, itâs so easy to live in constant fear of remission and going through that nightmare all over again, but living in constant fear isnât living at all.
The best way to beat your fears is to focus on what really matters to you, not on the things you canât control. Life is unpredictable, but if you spend your days worried about the unknown, youâll lose sight of all the people and things that make it worth living.
2. Bad things happen to good people.
No matter where you are in life, this is a tough lesson to learn. Itâs a natural tendency to want an explanation for everything that happens to us and the people we love. Sometimes, life just doesnât make sense though. Itâs random and unfair.
We teach our kids right from wrong through reward and punishment, but this method doesnât always apply. Kids who get diagnosed with cancer have to understand that their condition is not their fault.
Sometimes, bad things happen to good people. The only thing you can do is control what you can and make the most of what you canât, which leads us to the last lesson.
3. Positive thinking will improve your life.
When something terrible happens to you, itâs easy to fall into a victim mentality where everything feels totally beyond your control.
Hereâs a mundane example: Think about the last time you had a bad day. Maybe you woke up late for work, burned your toast, got a speeding ticketâjust a domino effect of lousy events. A lot of people react by thinking, âOkay, this will just be one of those days, nothing I can do about it.â Like I said, bad things happen sometimes. When giving up becomes your response to every situation though, thatâs when it becomes a problem.
No matter what comes your way, the best defense youâve got is your mind. I know, it sounds cheesy, but thereâs a ton of research to prove it. Positive thinking has been shown to boost cognitive functions, improve physical health, build valuable skills and professional success, garner a higher sense of fulfillment and much more.
Life Beyond Cancer
The way Grady lives his life is such an inspiration. He looks for any reason to smile and doesnât get caught up in silly things like other teenagers. After everything heâs been through, he knows what really matters.
Now heâs healthy and stronger than ever. He wonât let anything stop him from living his life. Heâs a survivor. For him, every day is a new triumph.
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